are you kidding?

my jeep has been sitting out in front of our house for literally three months without being driven. with the new baby and emily and i both working from home ... well it's cut down on on the amount of driving we do. never mind that gas is as much as a good chicken dinner, and that 33rd south right outside our door is one giant pothole from 15 east to I-15.

in the mean time the registration had lapsed, so i decided to fire her up and take her out to make her an honest jeep.

i have taken my car to the same service station in sandy for nearly 6 years. hillside tire and service on 10600 south, just east of the freeway. they are good honest folk, and always do a great job. we get our tires there, tune-ups, and our emissions and inspections .... always. well ... except this time.

because i am a knucklehead, and suffer from dementia i decided to take my car across the street from where we live to one of the "quick" emission places. you see we moved last year to the sugarhouse area and i thought it would save time to ... well never mind. it was a bad idea.

when they called my name in the waiting room, i could see the REJECTED STAMP from 25 feet across the room. here is a brief snippet of the conversation that ensued...

fine emissions inpector (fei): your car passed the emissions test, but it failed the inspection.
me: okay... what was wrong with it
fei: you need mud flaps on your rear tires
me: mud flaps?
fei: mud flaps sir.
me: mud flaps ... like yosemite sam back off mudflaps?
fei: because of the size of your tires you need mudflaps to cover them
me: are you kidding?
fei: no sir, i am not kidding

you know that scene in high fidelity where dick the record store clerk hits ian the obnoxious new boyfriend to laura the ex-girlfriend of rob in the face with the telephone ... i am not an advocater of violence, but didn't you think that scene was funny?

i think it is fair to say ... i have had this jeep for 13 years. i have had the same size tires put on it, and have had no problems.

i am devastated. i am not mudflap guy am I? i started to feel an itch to listen to toby keith, and wonder if i should move my couch outside my house and watch emily wash the dog.

adding insult to injury, my car was ticketed by the fine folks over at the west jordan police department fpr parking on the street, and threatened with impound if not moved within 24 hours.