just some thoughts

I don't really know what this blog is about.

I have been thinking so much about the woman (Nie Nie) that was in the plane accident. I am addicted to her sister's blog - she is an amazing writer, and makes every word sound so delicious that I just can't stop.

I read it for updates on her sister or just to see what thoughts she has on being a new mom, and today was another one of those days that I was sucked in. Sometimes I think I try to hard to do too many things on top of being a mom. I have my moments of frustration sometimes, when Cash won't sit still as I try and google a recipe for dinner or fit in some design work, or when Jack insists I sit on the couch to watch cartoons with him as I stare at the loads of laundry to do, dishes to wash, and beds to make. Then I think of Nie Nie. I think of how these little moments are on hold for her right now and I feel extremely guilty for even letting them cross my mind.

So tonight after I cleaned up the stairs from Cash upchucking his prunes all over our carpet, got the boys in the bath and ready for bed, I snuggled them a little extra tighter. Kissed each of the boys a few more times before saying goodnight, and will pray just a little more harder tonight that Nie Nie will continue to recover and become closer to the day she can cozy her own little angels.

I love being a mother to these little monsters. Nothing could ever compare to all the joy and happiness they bring me. And while it may not sound that great to others, I love that tonight I sit here with dried up prunes and oatmeal on my clothes, that my day was spent playing with a T-Rex and a matchbox $2 van around my living room and that most of my conversations throught the day involved topics such as: how cool train tracks are, how fast a bus can drive, and what hot dogs do once they are in your belly.

It doesn't get much better then this.